A little classified ad humor

I once wrote a post about how funny classified ads can be. Here's an example from the "Who Has It" section of this week's "Shopper's Edge," a classified ad tabloid distributed weekly in our area.

"Looking for German Shepherd puppy up to 102 yrs. old. German bred type 1-580-298-5620."

If you have one of these rare dogs, give the guy a call! Remember, that's only 714 in human years.

You can't say that! But I can.

Don't you just love letters to the editor? What other place can people display their ignorance so prominently? I especially like those letters of righteous indignation where the writer presents a logical argument that it's not right to judge others, but that's what his whole letter is.

Take for example a letter by Kristy Moore of Paris. Kristy didn't like a column by Tommy Felts that explained his reasons for not voting for Barack Obama. She found his words concerning Obama's pro-abortion stand "offensive."

Now let's see if Kristy has a logical argument, or if she's all over the map with her reasoning.

• She says an abortion decision is deemed responsible by some and irresponsible by others. Both, she says, are right. Impossible!
• "Never ever should such a private and extremely personal decision be weighed by someone else other than the person having to make that decision," she says. Then in the next sentences she says that those women who find themselves in the clinic year after year are "profoundly wrong" -- they shouldn't be using abortion as birth control. But she just said, "Never ever should . . . someone other than the person having to make that decision" judge it. That is, unless it happens to be Kristy, herself -- she's got that right!
• Then she says, "Late term abortions should be illegal." But, she says, she won't stand in judgment of those people. Didn't she just do that?
• Back to the second bullet point -- she talked about those women using abortion as birth control and finding themselves in the clinic time after time. Go down a paragraph or two and she says of abortion, "The toll it takes on that woman alone keeps them from ever having a repeat visit." Contradiction?
• Then she appeals to our patriotism -- "We as Americans applaud how fortunate we are that we are able to make choices in this country. Why should this choice be decided by a state's politics or a president's views? It shouldn't." I wonder if Kristy's ever heard of NAMBLA? NAMBLA is an organization of pedophiles -- it stands for the North American Man Boy Love Association. They think having sex with little boys should be their choice -- that there is nothing wrong with what they do. They agree with Kristy completely -- "Why should this choice be decided by a state's politics or a president's views? It shouldn't." I wonder if Kristy agrees with them.

"Decision to vote is personal." The Paris News; November 4, 2008; p. 4.

It's a sad day!

The people of the United States have elected a man who:

1) thinks stealing from one person to give to another is a good thing.
2) thinks marriage between two men is a good thing.
3) thinks abortion is a good thing.
4) thinks negotiating with terrorists is a good thing.
5) thinks siding with the Muslims is a good thing.
6) thinks doing away with our defense systems is a good thing.
7) thinks replacing the military with a sort of "Hitler Youth" type organization is a good thing.
8) thinks God d ___ American is a good thing (he says not, but his actions belie his words).
9) thinks associating with people who've bombed the pentagon is a good thing.
10) thinks refusing to show proof he is even eligible to serve as President is a good thing.

But there is hope -- as of this writing, the people of these states are voting thus:

1) The State of Arizona thinks marriage between two men or two women is NOT a good thing!
2) The State of Arkansas thinks gays adopting children is NOT a good thing!
3) The State of California thinks marriage between two men or two women is NOT a good thing! (52% to 48% with 91% of the precincts reporting).
4) The State of Florida thinks marriage between two men or two women is NOT a good thing!
5) The State of Nebraska thinks affirmative action is NOT a good thing!

As Sean Hannity is fond of saying, "Let not your heart be troubled." Barack Obama may think he is God, but we worship the God who said, "For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God" Romans 13:1. Even with an evil man in power, God will work His plan and we can trust completely in Him.

Gay rights activists exhibit intolerance.

We are bombarded daily with the plea for "tolerance" from gay rights activists, yet they are the most intolerant bunch I've ever seen. Not content to have "tolerance" from society at large, they are now demanding rights on faith-based college campuses.

A group called Soulforce, on a nationwide bus tour called the Equality Ride, has held forums on several campuses to promote "inclusion" at schools it believes discriminate against gay students. Three of the members were arrested last week after trespassing on a chapel service at Southwestern Assemblies of God University in Waxahachie. University spokesman Ryan McElhaney said the group had been asked to stay off the campus.

I must say I was disappointed to find that I have more in common with the stand taken by this school than by one of my own denomination. The official stand of the Southwestern Assemblies of God University -- "It's not a question that's up for debate for us. We love the people, but we do believe that homosexuality is a sin." The school that's been most receptive to the group according to Soulforce spokeswoman Caitlyn MacIntyre -- Dallas Baptist University. I think we Baptists need to become a bit more intolerant of sin!

"3 gay-rights activists arrested at university." The Dallas Morning News; October 30, 2008; p. 2B.

Give us an example.

A group of men who were once on death row but have been exonerated or otherwise released called on the Texas Legislature Friday to halt executions. I say they are proof that the system works. Clarence Brandley, one of the men exonerated says, "There have been some innocent people that have been executed right here in Texas. But the politicians are not going to say that." I call on Mr. Brandley to give us one case where he has proof an innocent person was executed in Texas. I seriously doubt he can do that, or he would have been waving around a sign saying, "Remember (insert name here)!"

"Exonerees ask for halt to executions." The Dallas Morning News; November 1, 2008; p. 3A.

More about Obama's pies

I was listening to a radio show the other day, and they were interviewing an economist and his take on Obama's tax plan. Before the interview, they played some Obama sound bites.

When Obama was still campaigning for the Democrat nomination, his plan started out with tax cuts for everyone making less than $300,000. That didn't last too long before the cuts applied to everyone making less than $250,000. Then, in the last couple of weeks, he's been heard to say the cuts apply to those making less than $200,000. Joe Biden, just this week, said the cuts apply to those making less than $150,000. And just yesterday, Bill Richardson said the cuts apply to those making less than $120,000. Remember, these figures apply to small businesses -- a small business that takes in as little as $384 to $812 a day in gross receipts will feel the brunt of Obama's tax plan.

Now for a little more analysis. This economist said those making more than Obama's threshold (whether it's $120,000 or $300,000) will pay thousands more in taxes -- an average of $3000 to $5000. Those taxpayers making more than $100,000 will get an average tax cut of -- are you ready for this -- $3. Those paying taxes who make less than $100,000 will get around $300 in cuts. Here's the kicker -- those who pay no taxes will get $1000.

My numbers may be a little off on this, because I was driving while I was listening and couldn't write them down; however, they are certainly within the ballpark of what this man was saying. Even if you like the tax the "rich" part, remember, when a small business pays $5000 more in taxes, they'll either raise prices or lay off employees. If you're paying the higher prices everywhere you shop, your $300 tax cut will go pretty quickly. If you're the employee who gets laid off, I guess you'll do OK -- you'll get the $1000 for someone who pays no taxes. But you won't be spending much which will hurt other businesses paying that extra $5000 in taxes. When their sales go down, you know what they'll do? They'll lay off more employees. Sounds like a lose/lose proposition to me.

Vote McCain, and everybody gets a real tax cut.

Whose pie will he take?

"The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more." Michelle Obama at a roundtable discussion with working women and mothers at a preschool in Harrisburg, North Carolina on April 8, 2008 (as reported in the Charlotte Observer on April 9).

And guess who gets to decide which pie they're going to take from and which pie they're going to add to. A vote for Obama is a vote for less middle-class pie!