Like, what word would we, like, use if we didn't, like, have like?

Like, Mr. Essie May and I, like, had breakfast at, like, a restaurant, like, the other day. Like, while we were, like, waiting to be, like, seated, like, these two, like, young girls, like maybe 17 or 18, like came in. Like, they were, like, basically, dressed, like, alike -- like they had on these, like, midriff, like, tops, and, like, their skirts were, like, hip-hugging and, like, OMG, really, really short. And like, one of them, like, had this, like, tattoo on her belly, but, like, only part of it was, like showing -- like the rest of it disappeared into, like, you know, her like, waistband.

And like, the first one goes, "OMG, did you, like, see, like the way he, like looked, at me." And the second one like, goes, "OMG, like creep me out!" And like, the first one goes, "Like, I felt like, like, you know, OMG, like, he was looking right, like, through my like clothes. And like, I, you know, thought about like, you know, going like, 'What are you, like, staring at, Mister.'" And the second one goes, like, all like, you know, indignant, like, you know, like, "The world is like OMG, full of like dirty old, you know, men!"

Like, ladies, like, my first advice, like to you, like is to go, "OMG, come on, like, girls! If you, like, don't like, like, being, like, stared at, don't, you know, like, dress, like, in a way that says, like, 'Look at me!'" Like my second, like, bit of advice, like, OMG, is to ban like from your, like, vocabulary, you know? Like my third bit, like, of advice, is, like, to learn that go is not a synonym for, like, OMG, said. Like, if you, like, do those three things, like, you'll find, like, far fewer, like, you know, like people, staring at, like, you! OMG!