Stupid is as stupid does.

The Carrollton mayor's race has some interesting issues. Incumbent Becky Miller faces Ron Branson in Saturday's election.

Mayor Miller, according to herself, has a quite colorful past. She attended the University of Kentucky, and she used to sing backup for Linda Ronstadt and Jackson Browne. She was once engaged to Eagles singer-songwriter Don Henley. Her brother sacrificed his life for freedom in Vietnam.

Mr. Branson was suspicious of these stories. When Mayor Miller's supporters approached him and asked him not to run, he told them he wouldn't if they would prove the stories true. He's still in the race.

The Dallas Morning News decided to check out the mayor's stories. Neither Jackson Browne nor Linda Ronstadt has ever heard of Mrs. Miller. "I was using another name then," she says. The News says they gave the names Becky, Rebecca, Miller, Gibson, Sampson (Mrs. Miller's maiden and married names). Nope, they still don't remember her. What names would they know her by? Maybe Pinky, Mrs. Miller says. Nope, don't remember any Pinky's either.

The University of Kentucky has no record of her enrollment. "Well," she says, "I attended only two months." Anything more than two weeks, they'd have a record of according to university officials.

Engaged to Don Henley? He never heard of her. "Well, maybe we weren't engaged, but we dated." Still never heard of her.

The brother who died in Vietnam? Her father says he had only one son who's still living and never served in the military. Half-brother or step-brother maybe? Not unless his wife of 60 years has one hidden away somewhere, he says. "Oh well, he has Alzheimers," says Mayor Miller, "He can't remember today from tomorrow." They better check the living brother then, because he doesn't remember their soldier brother, either. But Mrs. Miller can prove it -- she has a name. Sure enough, he's on the Vietnam memorial. He's a Negro. Mrs. Miller is white. Oops!

Mrs. Miller's brother is a songwriter for the Eagles, she says. He's not listed on any of the professional registers. Mrs. Miller says she doesn't like people delving into her personal life. Imagine that!

Mr. Branson says all this is relevant to the election, because it brings Mrs Miller's character and integrity into question. Forget character and integrity -- this woman is too stupid to be mayor!