You might be a redneck if . . .

A few years ago, it seemed everyone was griping about how shabby our city looked -- rundown and weed-infested properties, junk-strewn yards, inoperable vehicles, and those ugly torpedo signs. So we got a code enforcement task force.

I don't agree with every point in every ordinance the task force has come up with, but now it seems everyone is more concerned with rights violations than with cleaning up the city. Let's face it -- the rare antique automobile you are restoring may not be an eyesore on your nicely manicured front lawn, but the 1989 rusted out Buick in your neighbor's yard cannot be made unlawful without also getting your vehicle. The ordinances have to be broad enough that they are not discriminatory.

Torpedo signs have come in for their share of controversy. People will go out of business if they cannot have them. If a business is that unstable, I don't think the sign is going to make the difference. And businesses can still have the signs if they are properly mounted, so the "it will ruin my business" thing just doesn't wash. Besides, most of the time what you see on these blights on the landscape is "B G SA E! UP O 25% FF!" And the kids delight in switching the letters around to spell nasty words.

Now the big issue is parking recreational vehicles (including boats, trailers, motor homes, etc). First of all, I blame the newspaper for getting everyone stirred up. The headline on more than one of the stories intimated that residents would not be able to park the vehicles anywhere on their properties. What the ordinance did say was that the vehicles could not be parked on a front driveway or anywhere they were visible from the street.

One resident said his motor home "sticks out about 11 feet from the front of my house . . . We've lived there 40 years and nobody on my street has ever complained." The task force did produce a complaint on his motor home, but it was from a lady who lives a few blocks away. Perhaps his neighbors don't complain because he's not currently violating the law. Or maybe they don't complain because sometimes you have to go along to get along. We had a problem with one of our neighbors actually encroaching on our property with one of his vehicles, and even though it was an irritation, we didn't say anything about it for a long time.

But the resident who really caught my attention was Glenn Smallwood, who feared the city was taking away more and more of our rights. He kind of talked out of both sides of his mouth, though. "You've got rules already that you're not enforcing," he said. But then he complained that he had actually deeded a lot to the city, because code enforcement was on him all the time about the high grass and untidiness. The city shouldn't be telling people what to do on their own property, he says -- he currently has eight pickups and a gooseneck trailer in his front yard. I think Mr. Smallwood is the very reason the city DOES need a few ordinances!